Tuesday 7 May 2013

The Baby Steps Sufficiency


Yep – that’ll do for me. It’s not, technically, what I should have lost this week to stay on target, but then, two weeks of triple the amount I should have lost give me something of a buffer.
Today’s weigh-in sees me at: 16st 6.5 – down a pound and a half, and across my next milestone. I’m back to having lost an official four stone since the start of this thing. Just a stone and a half to go before I’m back to the zone of my highest achievement on this journey. It’s a baby step, this pound and a half, it’s little more than standing where I was last week and falling forwards, but it’s quite enough for me this week. It allows me to focus clearly on the next goal – the 16 stone barrier. Once I’m through that, it’ll feel like real progress: seeing 15s again will feel like I’m close enough to taste success, or at least to taste control of my life again.
Been doing that a lot lately. Organised the bejeesus out of my office. Contacted people to cancel payments that have been biting me, uselessly, for years. Bought our flat. Feels very much that kind of year – a take-control year. Which is why I’m writing this on a train to Cardiff in the sunshine, having taken a day off the day job. Today’s about focusing on my own writing, rather than editing other people’s. Facing facts, ultimate control of my life comes from putting in the Disappearing discipline, and from my own writing. I’m back in control of the Disappearing, it seems. It’s time to get a grip of my own writing too. Time to stop being afraid of success, time to stop putting off opening my mouth. Time to listen to what people have been telling me for decades and get the hell out of my own way.

Scuse me, pardon me, Disappearing Man coming through, step aside, people…

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