Wednesday 23 January 2013

The Relative Dimension

So I've been feeling all sorts of hibernational and blubbery and generally slow and fat and...blech...and blaming it on the snow and the deadlines.

Today - more snow, more deadlines, more Stuff To Do. However, this afternoon, I was at my aunt and uncle's place, when my uncle came out with something which pretty much blew away my wuss-ass rationalisations.

"Y'know, I've lost three quarters of a stone since the snow started," he almost-moaned.
"What?" I asked, trying to remember that he's my favourite uncle and it would be impolite to rip out his throat in a roar of pure envy.
"Aye," he said wistfully. "I've gone completely off meat. Just eating veg now..."
I looked at him.
"Ah," I said.
"Hmm," I said.
"Sooooo not gonna happen," I muttered.

I should add that it's not as if my uncle's been slipping off to the gym, or walking 20 miles a day or anything - he actually has no cartilage left in his kneecaps and is in fairly constant pain.

So presumably, it's just the lack of any appreciable protein...or carb...or any damn thing other than vitamins and water.

Hmm...

I mean really, hmm...

Nahhh, still not going to happen.

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