Went out for dinner last night with Ma and d. Was kind of a big deal.
Why?
Well - a year ago yesterday, I got the go-ahead to leave London and come home. A year ago yesterday I told d, and she quit her job. A year ago yesterday we sat Ma down on Skype and scared the bejeesus out of her - the previous time we'd had to Skype her was to tell her I'd had my tachycardic episode.
Ma told us last night that she'd been thrilled to hear that we were coming home, and then panicked as to what to do. She'd told my Dad that we were coming, and he apparently was delighted, and started making plans immediately. When she'd raised questions about how things would work out, he'd told her, in his calm, certain voice, that things would work out fine. That whatever needed doing would be done.
One year on, we don't just live in a different place, but a whole different universe. Dad, while he still had the energy, made good on his promise and made us a world to live in, and then we lost him.
It struck me yesterday how entirely different a world this was. In some ways, I can't believe it's been a year since we got the word, and in others, it feels like two or three.
Of course, losing Dad was one of the biggest and saddest things to happen to me. Ever. But I guess the important thing to take from all this is that, by choice, I wouldn't go back. One way or another, I like my world much better now, though of course it would be much better with Dad in it. But in terms of time, and space, and general quality of life, I'm set here.
Must finally get the boxes from the move unpacked ahead of Christmas though...that's just getting silly by now.
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