The Gym Boredom

When dealing with disappointment, there are two ways to go. Either you can reflect in a mature and clam way on all the things that led to your not achieving some result.

Or you can turn into a five-year-old, blame everybody and everything except yourself and stomp around for an hour, hoping someone asks you what's wrong so you can let them have it with both barrels.

Wanna take a guess how I dealt with this morning's weigh-in?

This morning's weigh-in made, as far as I could see, very little sense.
I weighed in at
17 stone 10 pounds.

That's up something like a pound and three quarters on last week, despite all the walking and occasional gymming. I huffed. My lip wobbled, like a storm about to break. Then I stomped back off to the bedroom, yelling "THAT'S NOT FAAAAAAAIIIIIIRRRR!!!"

Quite took the bears by surprise, I can tell you...
I stomped down to the kitchen and made myself a fairly big bowl of cereal, purely out of spite. Ate it, felt better - or at least fuller, then stomped off about my day - went to the dentist, the post office, the train station, and then to meet my aunt and uncle at the gym.

They were already there, working side-by-side running machines. I took the empty one by their side, and walked, and ran, a hundred calories away.
"BORED!" I yelled inside my brain. I wanted to jump on a bike, but of course, the world hates me so they were all full of Other People's Arses! What's THAT about?!

Got on to a push-up machine, did 18.
"BOOOOOOORING!" yelled my brain. "Plus...actually....OW! Not FAIR!"
The bikes were still full of arses.
I got onto a back-muscle machine. Did 40 of those, just to prove it wasn't just me being stroppy that made everything so boooooooooring...
Bikes still full. GET OFF, ALREADY!
Tried a cross-trainer. Clearly, after just ten calories, that wasn't happening. TOOO BOOOORING!!!!
Sighed heavily. There was nothign for it but the rowing machine.

Sat on one rowing machine. Decided I wasn't gonna take the usual shit, where as soon as you start rowing, the straps come loose. Adjusted the footplates by hand, realised I now had black hands, covered in rubber and dust and god knows what else from a parade of people's feet. but at least after about five minutes of muttering I had properly adjusted straps. Picked up the rowing bar, and pressed the button.

Nothing.
Pulled the bar, pressed every button on the panel. Nothing. Nada. No sign of life.
FUCKIN' BROKEN! T'RIFFIC. SOOOOO BORING!
Slid over to another rowing machine, because of course the bikes were still occupied.
Set it on 6, so that it wouldn't kill me. Pulled the bar, nearly fell over backwards, because I went back so far, so fast. It was way too easy - but now of course I was strapped into place and couldn't change the setting. So there I was, stuck, rowing the easiest race of my life. I tried to scratch my nose - don't do that while you're rowing, you'll have the machine over before you know where you are.
Then a friend and fellow chorister, Keith, wandered up, and we chatted for a minute.
"Do me a favour - whack me up a couple of notches would you?" I asked, and he did so. I began to row properly, but even that was boooring. Then my aunt, who'd been rowing in front of me, got off her machine. I sighed.

"Any bikes going spare?" I asked. I couldn't turn round to look, obviously - that's madness on a rowing machine.
"Ohhhh I don't like the bikes," she said placidly.
"No, but I bloody do..."
"One's just come spare," she said, and I quit the boredom of rowing in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, I like a recumbent bike, because it's what I'm used to. The one that had come spare was traditional bike, and it had been used by someone with longer legs than me. I batted vaguely at the pedals as they span around, but really, it wasn't doing me much good. Then, finally, the clouds parted, an angel choir sang, and a recumbent bike next door to me came free. I slid over to it triumphantly, and began pedalling properly.
"Ready to go then?" asked my aunty.
"Cool," I said, and abandoned it.

Got home, weighed again, just for badness. I'd put at least a couple of pounds of food into my system at breakfast, plus coffee, plus water, then pissed about at the gym for an hour.

I'd lost a half-pound. 17st 9.5 - up just a notional pound and a quarter on last week.

Booooooring!