The Bread Bastketcase

Blood is staying static at 6.8, it seems. Which is OK, but I really should do more exercise to boost the matabolism and push the numbers down a bit.

Especially, as it turns out, today. Did the mroning walk with Ma, and was scheduled to do the gym with my uncle at 11.30. Looking at my ridiculous list of Stuff To Do, I cancelled it.

Had a cereal breakfast, and lunch of seeded toast and a tin of cold Macaroni Cheese - yeah, I know, shurrup, it's a taste I acquired as a student, too lazy to heat things up.

That saw me through to the evening - d was on a late shift and I had a choir committee meeting to go to, so it meant either fixing food before I went, or not eating until late.

I ended up with a can of cold chicken soup - again, lazy student syndrome, or what comedian Dylan Moran refers to as "eating bread, from the bag, and dipping it in anything runnier than bread..."

When I finally got in tonight, I made d a cup of coffee, and we caught up on our days. She looked at the limp and sagging  polythene bag that contained the remnants of the loaf.
"Jesus...you went through nearly a whole loaf of bread...in a day?" she said, then came at me with comedy lobster-claws. "Too much bread, dude," she said, squidging what she kindly still refers to as my "tummy". "Bread is not your friend..."

Of course she's right. And I'd like to blame the over-consumption of wheaty goodness on the fact that we have a smartarsed four-slice toaster - seriously, it does "sardonic" in a way no other appliance we own can even dream of doing. It pops two slices up first, as though it's raising one eyebrow and saying "A...ha...and you wanna lose how much this week?" before popping the other two slices.

But the truth is, it's not the toaster's fault. It's mine. And it's mine because like the consumption of cold shit from cans, eating four slices at a time underneath the cold shit in cans is something I learned to do as a student. It was quick and monumentally simple, and it filled me up.

Annnnnnyone spot the flaw in that plan?

Note to self - dude, you haven't been a student in the longest time - get a freakin' grip on the bread basket...