Yes Dimension, singular. No it doesn't make any sense...it's a purist thing, leave it alone...
At probably several different previous points in this blog, I have propounded (or "waffled on about at interminable length" to those of a less scientific or pretentious bent) the theory that no-one can truly understand the length of a mile unless they have walked it. We are so divorced, in this day and age, from the true distance of a thing - and therefore the true time it would take to reach - by our dependence on various forms of motorised transport. This, I somewhat modestly call Tony's General Theory of Relative Distance.
Because I can, that's why.
Today, I should like to set down for the awestruck wonder of posterity an addendum to the General Theory, which I shall call Tony's Special Theory of Relative Distance. This posits that the more miles you walk, the longer each successive mile becomes in real terms, and therefore the longer it takes to complete.
I know what you're going to say. You're going to witter on about how that's just a perception, and how you feel more tired with every mile and so your relative speed decreases, yadda yadda yadda - NO!
I believe it's a physical law that by the action of choosing a destination point, and then walking several miles towards that destination, you actually change the laws of physics, extending the physical length of the remaining miles to the destination point, and the corresponding length of time it takes to reach that point...and I speak as a man who's walked 15 miles today, just for fun, so nehh.
It actually was fun, I should point out. Lee and I set out before either of us was really awake, and assumed that our destination was actually just 13 miles away...because everything we'd read, everywhere, claimed it was. After ten miles of walking, the sign we passed said we had 4.5 miles left to go.
What's in a mile and a half, right? I'll tell you, shall I? At 12.5 miles, with just two miles to go, things really started to hurt. We walked forever. I mean literally forever - I think in some version of reality, we're still there, walking. 2 miles, said the sign. We walked forever again. 1.5 miles.
"Are you freakin' kidding me?" we said, each to the other. Chip, Lee's dog, looked up at us both, as if to say
"Are we havin' fun? Are we? Are we? Are we, eh? Eh? Eh?"
We walked for three more eternities before recognising any damn thing familiar. Then we collapsed. There is not a single shred of doubt in my mind that time and space had been warped, not once, not twice, but three times, all within the alleged "space" of that last two and a half mile stint.
Time and space, people. They're tricky bastards...
Here endeth the theorem. Please post my Nobel Prize by return.
Oh, for the vampires - blood was 6.2 yesterday, and 5.2 at 6.30 this morning.
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