The Cartoon Frying Pan

Been a Tom and Jerry day really. You know sometimes, Tom is tearing round corners, and Jerry's just standing there, examining his nails? Cut back to Tom, really getting into his stride now, legs going like pistons, or like the limbs of a prairie cat, powering him on. Cut back to Jerry, picking his teeth unconcernedly. Cut back to Tom - he can see success finally, he's finally gonna catch and eat that little mousy prick, his shoulders raise, he prepares for one almighty tiger-pounce...
And out of nowhere, Jerry produces a cast-iron frying pan about four times the size of his entire body, swings it like a cricket bat and BAM! Tom ends up with a fact like a dollar coin with two little flat feet protruding at the bottom, and ends up waddling off, looking like a walking bottle top and wondering what the Hell just happened...

That's kinda what happened to my dad today - he had imunoglobulin infused into him today, as his haemoglobin level was down to 7...which I think translates in medical circles as "say what, motherfucker, how you walkin' around? Better sit your ass down right this second and get you some juice!"

Only thing is, once you've had the immunoglobulin, your body kinda goes "Whoah! What the fuck is this shit?! I'm shutting down while I process this stuff, alright, put the sign up, dude, we're closed for business!"

And while you may have been preparing a great big long list of "Stuff To Do", once you've been immunoglobulinned, you waddle away looking like a bottle top and wondering what the Hell just happened.

When we went to see him tonight he was asleep. He was asleep in the kind of way that cats are asleep - the kind of way that invites you to try and wake them, and then laughs its ass off at your pathetic human attempts. There was nothing doing. He did open his eyes a couple of times, but there was no recognition in them and so he closed them again and went back to the appearance, as well as the continuing reality, of sleep.

Thing is, had the same sort of cartoon frying pan experience myself this morning. All the weather reports said the heavens were going to open, so I went for a walk.

In the gym.

I went onto the treadmill and decided I'd just do my morning walk...indoors. Got my shorts on, plugged my iPod in, got my boots laced and walked on...

Two miles in, the cartoon frying pan hit me in the face. It wasn't that it was harder than walking outdoors. Not by any stretch of the imagination.

It was Just...soooooooo....duuuuuuuuuuulllllll....

Treadmills just don't work for me as Things To Walk On. Run on...sure, in a pinch, though I prefer doing that outdoors too. But walking? Hellno!It's like hitting your enthusiasm until it waddles away, looking like a bottle top and wondering...

Here's hoping for better weather tomorrow...