Monday, 13 August 2012

The Disappearing Vectors

Blood was 6.1 this morning.

Today was supposed to be all about new regimes and new hope for Dad. Turned out there was no new leaf today. Maybe Wednesday. On the other hand, he's eating better, so that's at least some positive news for the day.

Myself, I'm in a dreadful place. Got on the scales this morning, feeling, it has to be said, pretty good considering the week of little exercise and uneven eating hours.

Clearly I can feel whatever the hell I like, but good is some significant distance away. This means tomorrow will be a day of record highs on this bounce-back from Disappearing greatness. But as I've said before, this is not an inevitable slipback to the bad old days. This is just a period of Getting Through, during which the vector of my journey is challenged and reversed. Time moves, things change, and I know my vector will go back the other way, when I have time and space to put the effort to it that is needed.

Still, it's irritating to be in a state of vectorial wrongness. But like my dad, who's been in a state of vectorial wrongness by not eating, and has taken the first steps towards reversing his vector, so, eventually, I'll take the steps towards reversing my vector too. Maybe Wednesday'll see us both changing vectors properly.

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