The Best Part of a Muffin

As I've now mentioned incessantly, tomorrow's weigh-in's gonna suck, but I'm already over it and focusing on the push towards losing the next 28 pounds.

In among a whole shedload of stuff about which I don't wanna talk right now, I had a haircut today.

I've mentioned before that getting a haircut in the Valleys is more of a gossipy experience than many people might be used to.
As the talk turned to courting rituals on a Saturday night and the only other male in the hairdressers - one of the staff - was trying to convince a room full of women that his approach to seduction (coming on like Mr Darcy with a "May I take the seat next to you?") had been more successful than any of them believed, another young female hairdresser was regaling us with her dieting woes after having eaten pizza..."like, twice this week!...And I had raspberry Mojitos an' all..."

The young woman who had a pair of clippers aimed at my skull gave a contemptuous "T'chaw!" and exclaimed
"Oh, have what you like, girl! Life's too short to be thin, innit?"
It occurred to me this was aimed in my direction, and that she probably felt entirely safe in the assumption that I'd agree with her, being a big fat bastard myself.

In all honesty, this concept has guided me for many decades, but in recent years, the numbers have begun rather to baffle me. Surely...sigh...surely life is only too short, potentially, if you're overweight. A crass generalisation of course, but one that holds more merit than it's ever given credit for, surely.

"Look at me," she added. "I've got a muffin top!" she she explained.
At best, she had what could be called a mini-muffin top, but this, to me, raises another question.

When did we start using "muffin-top" as some sort of physical pejorative for a bit of flesh over the trouser-top? When did "muffin-top" become a pejorative term for anything, come to that? Unless I reeeeeallly missed a meeting, people love the tops of muffins. Without the tops, muffins are kinda just like spongy unfrosted cup-cakes. The tops of muffins are THE BEST BIT.

Now...I'd never say that the belly is a better bit than the stuff it tops, but let's be pretty clear here - on women, at least, it's a pretty damn cool area. It's part of the whole curvy Mother Earth  hummuna hummuna hummana thing......

Damn...now I want a muffin. I'd say a big-ass muffin, but all in all, that would probably confuse matters even more...