The Screen Wipe

Today started at Ugh o'clock, as is usual for the London UberCommute. Got on a train at 6.35. By 10.53, d was getting antsy.
"Communication blackout," she pointed out by text. I called my mother.
She was already at the hospital. She'd been there since 7.30, having received a call at 6 o'clock to say dad had had a heart rate spike of 140 in the night, followed by an episode of diabetic hypoglycaemia, and a tumble out of bed. Talk about being outdone by your parents! I'll never bitch about the early start again!

Panicked for a while as I headed in absolutely the wrong blood direction on a train. Didn't particularly calm down till I got to work, by which time, the picture for dad was starting to look a bit brighter too. Sat at my desk.

"Right, well...you can do one of two things," I told myself and my computer screen (one of the joys of having the office to yourself is that you can witter all you like and no-one gives a fuck!).
"You can mope and ache and get nothing done and wallow in fear and consequences and woe is us..." I said.
"Or you can be a Man. A Man like dad is..." A strong man, a man who believes in getting the job done and doing everything he can. A man who never wants to anything with half a heart.
"Right," I said again. "Bollocks.
And with that, I gave my brain a mental screen wipe. Yes, I've been worried about him. Yes, I'm gonna see him tomorrow, and investigate what happened and where we go from here. But today - I did the job. Worked my ass off, and am sitting now in Starbucks with minutes to go before I catch my train back to the land where I can do...at least a little something...to help make his day the tiniest glimmer better than it would be if I didn't. It's a change of attitude I intend to carry forward into the Disappearing too. Don't actually, on reflection, think I need a whole new blog. Just a screen wipe of all the toing and froing, and a return to practical progress. So that's tomorrow. Let's grab the bugger by the throat again and employ every cliche of self-destiny we can, and get the job done.