Blood was 5.2 this morning.
When attempting to Disappear, Discipline is king. Routine is sort of Grand Vizier, eagerly eyeing the throne for his own nefarious purposes. And Actual Enjoyment Of Food is pretty much the mouse scurrying round in the palace skirting-boards, looking for crumbs.
This week - and in fact, the week before, my Discipline level has been...faiiiirly good. Sort of Not Exactly Prince Regent, But Distant Cousin Prepared To Take The Throne If The Opportunity Occurs level. My Routine though has had something of a Hollow Point round shot through its pointy Grand Vizier's hat...and indeed its pointy Grand Vizier's brain-stem to boot.
The idea of visiting the hospital twice a day is that it breaks the monotony for the hospitalee, and you bring them Stuff and Stories from the outside world, to make their arse-numbing stay a little more bearable. What it does to your eating habits in return is interesting - the main night shift visit is from 6.30-8pm...which of course is the prime evening meal window. Recently, we haven't been having our evening meal till 8.30 or 9, which is too darned late to be doing it on a Disappearing promise.
What am I saying? Not that visiting's a pain in the arse, cos it isn't - it's what I get up every day for at the minute - every day hoping things will be just a little bit better. Just that sometimes, you can have good discipline, and it's not really gonna matter that much. Tonight, we had a bit of a home-made Indian-fest (d pulled out all the stops when we got back from visiting, and fed Ma to the gills with her beloved curry and rice.Now it's 10 o'clock, I don't have the energy left to bike and I haven't - apart from visiting time - really moved my arse off the couch all day, cos I'm up against another deadline. So - exercise - zilcho. Food intake - Yum!...No wait, that's a different measurement-scale. Food intake - HUUUUUGE...Result - probably not a great Tuesday.
While still trying to do as well as I can, I figure to be honest a trench warfare mentality needs to be adopted at times like this - when Dad's home, and better than this, I'll be doing more exercise, and eating less, at more sensible times. Till then, we're all just getting through and doing what's necessary. We'll figure out the fall-out when everything's fallen in to place a bit more.
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