The Call of the Chippy Lunch

Sigh...
And so it begins in earnest. The first day left to my own devices since I restarted. This is the tricky part, because in essence, you can know you're only battling yourself as strongly as you like, but the urge to circumvent perceived authority is always a strong one. That means you externalise the locus of "authority" - you make "other people" the "authority" figure that's "imposing" behavioural restraint on you, and the instinct says "They're not here any more, go wild and craaaaazzzzeeee!!!"

This, of course, is the peril of working from home and trying to Disappear. That urge to externalise the "authority" is vast and great, and in the silence of your own home, it has nothing to counterbalance it...except you.

In some ways of course, this is the central challenge of working from home at all. There's technically nothing to stop me playing Candy Crush all day if I wanted to. Nothing except me. Similarly, there's nothing to stop me (at 10.26, mind you, this thought is going through my brain), from having a massive breakfast, popping out for a secret pizza, or skipping across the road to the chippy at lunchtime for a complete carbfest.

Except me. And, now that I've told you as much, you lot.

This is possibly something I've been missing for a while, the idea that other people know what I'm doing. So now I've told you about the urge that's nipping at my head even as we speak, hopefully it will strengthen my conviction not to give into it. Certainly didn't have a massive breakfast - three Weetabix and a banana, plus a mug of coffee. And even as I was doling out the three little husks of dehydrated carbohydrate, the thought came to me - "There's no-one to stop you having six, you know?"
Getting back into the swing of being your OWN authority-figure, of regulating based not on the most you could potentially have, but on what you actually need, is a thing which clearly takes some getting used to again. But so far at least, so good. Found my way to the exercise bike last night, and hope to jump on it at some point today inbetween deadlines.

Important to recognise the Call of the Chippy Lunch though. It sings to me, early, on a whiff of grease and vinegar. But hopefully in recognising it, and naming it, I can power down the urge.

More news as we get it...