The Cake Shop Trial

Stuff happened today that I'm not yet ready to blog about. Very odd day in terms of emotional roller-coaster rides. Will tell you when I'm ready, honest.

For now, suffice to say the day began early, and immediately, all the plans I'd made for the day went out of the window. The day involved a cafe for breakfast, where - given that breakfast was at about 11ish - I eschewed the healthy option and chose a sausage and egg sandwich on bloomer bread.

The day also involved Ma, d and I at one point sitting in a cake shop. I know, I know, don't make mountains out of molehills, but this turned out to be the biggest challenge since I started re-Disappearing, all of nine days ago. There were deep-filled apple tarts, and apple and blackberry tarts. There were eclairs and egg custards (don't mess with me on this, I've written a fantasy epic about eclairs and egg custards!). There were battenburgs and Victoria sponges and carrot cakes and tea loaves and cherry bakewell shortbreads and...and...

I don't know why this bothered me more today than any day previously - d's made amazing, kickass cakes since I restarted the Disappearing and...while it would be lying to say I wasn't madly tempted, I found it relatively easy to resist. I think the roller-coaster nature of the day was probably responsible - the response to intense stress and sorrow and relief and weird stuff: stuff your face with sugary, soothing goodness.

I chewed the spoon with which I stirred my de-caff latte, and briefly caved, asking d to lie to me and tell me her mincemeat shortbread square was utterly horrid. She did, bless her.

Later in the day, I was walking around Waitrose. Spotted a book by noted brain-meddler Paul McKenna - I Can Stop Emotional Eating. I'll tell you one thing - if I ever needed motivation not to cave, proving that I don't need Paul Bloody McKenna in my life is about as good as they come.

Only did half and hour's biking tonight as it was late, and am off to London for an overnight and a conference in the morning, so will be unable to bike for the next two nights. So - discipline will be the key to this overnight. Discipline...

I too can stop emotional eating, Paul McBloodyKenna. For I have passed the Cake Shop Trial.