13th March - The Sundae Solicitation

So - came away to a hotel nestled at the foot of a couple of big hills which call themselves mountains.

So far, very little yomping has been done. Thing is, the restaurant at the hotel did boat a Sundae among its desserts. Now, those of you who know me will know I'm a sucker for a sundae. They're like the dessert equivalent of call girls, all dressed up in their finery and hose. So I asked mine host (who informed us that the "spa" that was attached to his hotel...hadn't been open in two years, since "the woman left").

Disappearing's one thing. A sundae...that's something else. So I was actually contemplating bending my rule and trying one. But on the menu, it was just listed as "Sundae".
"Can you tell me more about your sundae?" I asked, almost like a sweating teenager in a porn shop.
He didn't seem to understand the question.
"More, how?" he asked.
"I mean like what's..." I moved closer to him, to create the impression that he was among friends, and that I was a man of the world....he could trust me with the sordid details. "...what's in it?" I asked, just about refraining from a "nudge, nudge, wink, wink sayyyyy no moooore, squire."
"Oh. S'just three scoops of ice cream and some whipped cream," he said, entirely failing that expensive course of marketing and upselling he'd been on just last Spring.
"Oh..." I said, feeling (and here I appreciate the unfortunate mangling of metaphors) my culinary hard-on rather droop. I didn't succumb to the temptations of the sundae...but only really because it didn't appear to have any temptations. It was like being propositioned by a pimp who said "Well, she's not much to look at, I know, but you can have a go if you like..."

So as yet I remain unsullied in the world of desserts.

Dammit...

Turns out we're going into Abergavenny tomorrow. Maybe someone can sully me up right nice there...