Anorexia's where you look in the mirror and see yourself as someone fatter than you are, right?
And Bullimia, though I appreciate this is an oversimplification, is where you binge and purge, to get the sensation of eating, without the weight-gain.
I think I'm coming down with Balloonimia.
Balloonimia is where you look at yourself and feel like you're made entirely out of over-inflated balloons, tied at the joint-points by some crazed and not particularly skillful balloon-modeller.
Over the last handful of days, I've spotted myself in mirrors, obsessively smoothed a hand over what should be a reasonably-extended-but-flat-ish stomach only to find an early-pregnancy bump, found my stretchy trousers feeling tight and constrictive, and generally felt like the adopted love-child of the Michelin and Stay-Puft Marshmallow Men (anyone else routing for those two crazy kids to get together?).
Did an evening weigh-in tonight, which of course is a stupid thing to do, but reassured me jusssst a little that I'm probably not in actual fact turning into a giant balloon-man, but still, that's pretty much the way I feel at the moment. Going to bed now, to feel the fat flood through the atmosphere and attach itself to my ass and thighs and belly while I sleep.
UberCommute tomorrow - yippee!
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