The Disappearing Popsicle

Brr.

Went to bed last night freezing. Woke up several times in the night....freezing.
"Want a hot water bottle?" asked d blearily on one of those occasions.
"N-n-n-nooo," I said, wrapping the blankets round myself more tightly, and unchivalrously shoving my frozen feet against her legs.
To be fair, what I meant was "Sure, if we had a service robot who would go and get me one, that would be lovely, but since we don't, I don't want you conforming to stereotypes of the subservient wife waiting on her man hand, frozen foot and finger, and I happen to know that if I set foot outside this bed right now, I'll just freeze and die, so I guess I'm screwed..."

She sighed.
"Numpty," she muttered and went back to sleep. I shivered, hearing the godawful wind batter at the windows.

The last time I woke up, d was already awake, playing backgammon on her phone.
"C'mon sweetie, time to get up. Your mom's gonna be here any minute..." she said.
"She can't," I said. "We can't possibly go walking in this weather. Sounds like it's blowing a gale out there..."
I texted Ma.
"We still doing this...walking...thing?" I asked.
"Yep. Be down for you in about ten minutes," she replied.
"Fuck," I said, and still refused to get out of bed.

Nevertheless, when Ma got here, I was all but dressed. In fact, I was DRESSED. You know how some kids with overprotective mothers turn up at school on the first day of winter looking like the Michelin Man, wearing every scrap of clean clothing they own and unable to move their arms? It was kinda like that. I shuffled out onto the balcony and down to meet Ma. We walked a quick-ish six miles, which earns you a breakfast at the best of times.

Didn't do my weigh-in for another three hours. I was sitting here, still in all my layers and terrified to take off my boots, for fear of instant frozen-toe death.

When I did brave nakedity for about 45 seconds, today's weigh-in was:
17 stone 2.75 pounds. Not great by any means, but oddly, better than I'd imagined. There is now A Plan in place - Ma and I will do two stints at the gym per week, plus one of these walks. Anything extra is kind of fat-busting gravy. So hopefully, should be down in the 16s again before too long, and hence back to 15 in long, slow, arduous due bloody course.

When d came in from work tonight, she flashed her eyes at me.
"Finally warm up?" she asked.
"Yep," I admitted.
"Good. Before you go to bed tonight, you're in a hot shower or a hot bath, Mister. There will be no more of this bullshit. Last thing I want is a Disappearing Popsicle..."
"Good plan," I agreed. Then I came in here to tell you this, and now I'm going downstairs to warm myself on companionship for the evening.

London tomorrow, UberCommute and an overnight, so that'll be delightful...