To quote 80s TV punk Vivvian, as played by Ade Edmondson in The Young Ones...
"Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored."
(Grabs cricket bat, start whacking people round the head...including himself)
"BORED! BORED! BORED!!! BORED!!! BORED! BORED!! BOOOOOOORED!!!!"
Or, to quote 90s TV space-rat Dave Lister, as played by Craig Charles in Red Dwarf...
"I'm sick of it. Just totally, totally sick of it. I'm sick of you, I'm sick of me....I'm just sick of it..."
Might be getting the feeling I'm in a bit of a trough right now. It's probably not all to do with the pathetic, minimally-important 'gone back up a pound'ness of Tuesday's result. It's everything - it's death and finance, it's work and too-far family, it's the combination of the return of Captain Draino to his rightful place in my life and feeling fat and heavy and powerless and pointless and altogether at my least perky and funny since we started this quest. I feel like I need to grab a baseball bat and head to the batting cage, or rip down our garden fence and pound the bejeesus out of next-door's boxing 'man'. Instead of which, I'm piddling about here, writing words, and watching, of all things, Man Vs Food - a nutcase called Adam Richman eating...well, basically the world. Right now he's eating every gorgeous thing you could ever barbecue the crap out of.
On reflection, it's probably just as well I don't have the baseball bat, right now. Shouldn't be watching this jealous-making fuck...who's just moved on to a fifteen-milkshake 'challenge' (pass them here, ya pussy, I'll chug those beauties right now. Challenge, my ass!). What I should be watching right now is Survivor. Y'know, miserable people starving to death, bitching at each other, running around in horrendous heat, freezing to death every night and having to eat rats to survive...Hell, watch it, I should be on the Survivor Diet right about now...except of course for the fact that I'd probably end up killing and roasting them all on a big-ass spit.
Mmmm....Barbecued Survivor...
OK, clearly need to go away now. Still have to do some cycling tonight. And no, before you ask, didn't break out the weights - still a possibility for tonight. Not a likelihood, but at least still a possibility. Blood was 5.3 this morning, for those whose day's not complete without knowing this stuff.
Oh by the way, Pussy-Boy Richman threw up close to the finishing line of the milkshake challenge. Honestly, some people, no staying-power.
Yeah, Man v Food not really the sort of thing you want to watch if you're in fuck the diet mode. Stop torturing yourself with these bloody TV programmes, ya nutter.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I honestly don't know how he keeps doing that, you know? I've watched it several times thinking, I wouldn't be able to put away half of that and I have a legendary ability for scoffing stuff. Plus which, who f'in thinks up these things anyway? Mental.
I think Adam Richmond must either have a cast iron stomach, vomits after each show, or spends the day after in the bathroom in agony - especially after the mega bonkers hot challenges. It is seriously addictive viewing though. I think he'd be a cool bloke in person, someone you could have a laugh and a pint with.
Anyway, the Richmond nutter aside .... you're having a tough time right now love, it's to be expected that things will take a dip and you're confidence may lag. You've a lot on your mind. Maybe a word with the Doc or dietician about the captian draino situation might not be a bad idea? Just try and refocus and remember all the happy feelings you've had when you've been doing well? I'm around if you wanna moan. Just don't ask how well my food habits are going .....