Miracle Cures And The Slow Path

I woke up this morning, and decided to go for a sneaky mid-week weigh. That was rather pleasing, all in all, but of course, being a mid-week weigh, it absolutely doesn't count, so there's no particular reason you'd want to know what it said, right?

Well, tough, I'm not gonna tell you in case it all goes horribly to pot over the weekend and I end up not acheiving this morning's result come Tuesday. So, and I'm sorry if this is getting old, but nehh!

Anyhow, inspired by a positive mid-week weighing experience, I determined, Richard III style, to invest in my own success - did the walking, got water, no coffee. Clearly, given Marks & Spencer's porridge vendetta, an alternative had to be found, and I stepped back on the fruit train - felt wonderful and fresh and soooooo ridiculously virtuous you wouldn't believe.

Then I saw a story in the paper that chimed with me. Apparently, doctors have known for a while that Type-2 Diabetes (my type) can be cured by simply eating just 600 calories a day.

Ahem...

This miracle cure is all very well, but of course the miracle is actually doing it. My doc told me that I need a thousand calories a day just to maintain organ function, which presumably means if I only ate 600, my body would be pretty much eating itself. Certainly, you'd lose weight doing that. Unfortunately, as I think we know by now, weight and sanity would pretty much go hand in hand, and other people would probably lose a good few pounds too, when I decapitated them randomly on the Tube.

Nono, no 600-calorie shenanigans for me. At least, not at this stage. Sorry to drag the guy back into this (truly, sometimes, my wife thinks I have a right old man-crush on Mitch Benn. I really truly don't, there are just a serious handful of parallels between us. OK, so he knows Neil Gaiman and Steven Moffatt, and I really don't, but, y'know, other than that...), but it really does remind me of what Mitch has been doing recently. I checked out his method, because apparently, he's actually lost more than nine stone since January, which of course those who've been with me from the start know is pretty much what I have to lose to get down to my healthy weight. As you can doubtless understand, I was curious about anything that offered that kind of result. It's a program called LighterLife, which not only costs about £75 per week, but also involves eating and drinking nothing of any actual food value whatsoever - the money is for therapy and 'food replacement packs'. We all know how insane I am just doing it this sloggy, bit by bit way. Can you imagine what I'd be like with just a bunch of food replacement packs? I mean, seriously?? The reason today's miracle cure and the LighterLife way remind me of one another of course is they work on the same basic principle - gently-tuned starving to death. Who knows? I said I'd try anything, and maybe, nearer the end, I'll give this kind of thing a go. But for now, I'm happy enough in my groove of slow (Wow, but soooo slow) plodding and the doctor-approved 'two pounds a week' schlepp.

Sigh...
No, really, I am.

To the bike, Batman...