I woke with a start, with that instant feeling of having overslept. My clock said 7.06. So yeah, technically, we'd overslept. Meh...it didn't matter, I thought, closing my eyes again for a sneaky snooze.
The world exploded into the sounds of a demented cockerel running around the place, giving it "Cock-a-fuckin'-doodle-doo, motherfuckers!!"
The next thing I knew, there was a shove.
Then two shoves.
Then four rapid shoves...I think the next stage was a foot in the ass, frankly.
"Mmmnaahmmm..." I announced to the world.
"Well, press the button!" said d. "Turn the bloody thing o-"
There was a semi-second when the reality of the morning sank in.
"Oh...wait...that's not your alarm, it it?"
There was another second of activity on the other side of the bed, as she found her exploding cockerel phone, and silenced it.
"Oh my god!" she laughed. "I feel like such a...such a..."
"Douchebag?" I muttered, trying to be helpful.
"An Asswort!" she yelled, which was a new one on me. "Sorry!..."
"S'ok..." I almost drolled. "'msleepin'now..."
"Oh God," she said again...
And so, with a chorus of Quentin Tarrantino's cockerel and my wife yelling Asswort...Wednesday began. Let's see what it's got in store, shall we?
No comments:
Post a Comment