Wednesday, 3 August 2011

The Want Ads

Lost
1 motivation-pack, XXXL,
Last seen in the company of a standard routine, thought to have dissipated in a recent fog of injury, laziness and apathy.

If found, please return to Fat Tony, 22 Apathetic Avenue - go a third of the way and listen for the sound of self-pitying whine-assery.

Wanted
Issues 1-6 of Dr Determo's "Get A Grip, Schmuck-Face!" in mint condition. Also interested in Season 2 of "The Internet's Biggest Loser", or a dozen Krispy Kremes, whichever are easier to source. Apply to Box 179.

For Sale
Assorted witterings on flab, walking routes and other, more literal, crap. Attempting to raise funds for NHS liposuction, or possibly several grammes of speed. Any reasonable offer considered.


M, 39, Disappearing, seeks progress for long walks in the country, long talks - all must be about me; I'm just that way.
Oh go on...I'm really not as pathetic as I sound...no, honest, I'm not. Box 207.

1 comment:

  1. Sorry Tony but you can't buy copies of season 2 of the "The Internet's Biggest Loser" you don't yet qualify. I think we have encountered some of them though.

    You are bound to have bad days, we all do on our quests, remember there are those who will support you on this and other things called your friends, otherwise I might just have to send a redhead your way wielding implements of doom or worse still I'll tell Sian you need a boot up the ass!

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