Taking The Pizz

Sometimes, you just can't catch a break, you know.

It's Friday night, d's feeling poorly, I'm an unskilled ham-fisted kitchen numbskull (did you catch the story of my slicing my finger open this week while preparing cereal?), so it was Pizza Time...

Except, sometimes, you just can't catch a break. Now, we're something of a pair of conneisseurs when it comes to delivery pizza. Pizza Hut? Puh-lease...In the restaurant, it works just fine, as a delivery pizza it tends to be lame, and wet, and floppy, and the  delightful acne-ridden brain-trusts they tend to employ are perhaps not entirely...shall we say...committed to giving a fuck whether you have a good time or not when you're another voice on the phone messing up their Friday night.

Dominos...Maybe, at a pinch, in a clinch, but our pizza of choice is Papa John's.

Tonight, we tried their website, only to be met with site error after site error. Then, being in a pinch, we tried Dominos. Their site failed a couple of times for us too. Then we teeeeeased and cajoled it through the motions, and got to the stage of the "Verified By Visa" stage. When the computer threw its toys out of the shopping cart, and blocked my card, we weren't sure whether to laugh or fume. We changed browers, while I called the bank to get my card unblocked. On the second browser...Papa John's appeared to work. Right up till the point where we tried to pay for our pies, when the damn thing fell over again. Dominos on the new browser worked all the way through, though d had to pay for it - I was still talking to Bangalore or somewhere similar, where my bank has decided to move its call centres.

No sooner had the order gone through than d swore.
"I forgot my dip!" she muttered. "Honey mustard. It's just not the same without it!"
She called up the local restaurant, from which our dinner would eventually be coming.
"Hi," she began.
"CAN'T HEAR YOU!" bellowed a teenaged girl.
"HIIII!" d shouted. "I JUST PLACED AN ORDER ONLINE AND-"
"ARE YOU 24 RIVER WALK?"
We considered it by this point. It would be so easy to be 24 River Walk...but...
"NO," said d, "WE'RE..." And she gave our address. Five minutes more of shouting at each other, and she'd managed to work out a deal to pay the delivery guy for her dip.

He arrived, as ever, just a little after the point where we'd given up all hope of ever seeing him, or any friendly human face again in this life. I ate my starter, a handful of chicken strips, then contemplated the idea of eating pizza at what, by then, was 9.30 at night.

I couldn't do it. I hadn't walked or biked at all today by that point, and I was feeling full and bloated. So after all the palaver we'd had, I ended up not having Friday night pizza after all.

Like I say, some days you just can;'t catch a break. I guess, some days, you end up not wanting one either.