Softly, Softly

Yellow jersey be buggered, I was knackered so I went straight to bed.

Yes, it's Tuesday, so I suppose you'll be wanting weekly weigh-in figures, won't you? Well...y'know last week I said I'd quite like to bitchslap the two stone mark out of the way and head straight to 18 stone 4, which was really the quarter-mark of this whole mad project?

Well, excuse me a little smug, sluglike smirk if I say: Been there, done that, moving on...

Weigh-in this morning reads:

18 stone 3.25 pounds.

That means, for the Americans here, I've now lost 32 and a quarter pounds, and for the Metrically-inclined, that's 14.7 kg.

Of course, yesterday's Tour De living Room probably helped significantly here, but I should also, in the interests of unnecessarily unpleasant full disclosure, cite an extra bit of help in recording this result. My resistance to drug-taking in the quest for weightloss has slipped another notch - last night I took some...well, there's no easy way to say this, no matter how soft-focus their advertising is...they're stool-softeners, plain and simple. Not laxatives, you understand - that's a whole other level of dementia to which I might only sink if Composto the salad-monster returns from the dead for another encounter. These are simply designed to allow me to make progress before I leave the house on a Tuesday morning, and thus record a more accurate weigh-in, because there's almost nothing worse than that whispering voice in the back of your head after you've weighed in...erm..."full" as it were, going "Yeah, but you know you're probably lighter than that really, aren't you, I mean, probably quite a lot lighter really, given everything, so I wouldn't worry if I were you, have a cake..." - that final little twist of temptation coming, as all the best temptations do, on the back of a mini-wave of self-congratulation. So I've decided to knock that voice on the head by the rigorous, occasional use of science...which, yes, I'm fully aware, is a fantastically high-falutin' way to describe the chemical equivalent of taking a stick-blender to one's rectum...

Ahem...

So that's the disclosure section over with. Time to do yet another little mini-wave - we're a quarter of the way through this thing! In fact, we're technically more than a quarter of the way through, because the original intention was to lose two pounds per week (on average), every week for a year - making 104 pounds in total. That wouldn't have actually taken me to my healthy weight. To reach my healthy weight, I'd have to lose 126 pounds - and it's that second, significantly larger figure that we're now slightly more than a quarter of the way to achieving. On the original 104 pounds target, we're actually slightly more than a third of the way there - which is pretty cool when you consider we're just two weeks beyond a third of the way through the year of the experiment's proposed duration. In fact, for the joyful number-crunchers out there, there have now been 19 weigh-ins since the first one (which doesn't count as a weight-loss week). Two pounds per week consistently would have resulted in 38 pounds by this point. So 32 pounds actually lost puts me just three weeks behind the original schedule, which, given the ups and downs of the year so far, I'm relatively happy with.

Who knows? If I do another Tour De Living Room kind of week, by this time next week, I could have another stone-number to celebrate. At which point, things start getting really freaky, because as long as I've known d, I've never been as low as 17 stone something - I was over 18 when we first met. So like I say, freaky, but fun, times ahead. But for now - awoohoo!