My Body is a Tardis*

Right, let's get this out of the way. Today's headline news is:

Weight at week nine weigh-in: 19 stone, 5.5 pounds.

One pound. I've lost one itty-bitty little pound. As I've said before, that's pretty much the equivalent of one good shave and a fart. But let's be positive here - it's a good shave and a fart in the right direction - if I'd put on a pound, I'd be trying to be all zen and philosophical about the whole thing, so I'm not about to get all mopey and pebble-kicking cos I've lost a pound. For fans of pure statistics, I'm now exactly one week behind schedule - but if it stays at that level, then by the end of this project, I'll still have lost 102 pounds, which is by no means shabby - it'd still put me about a Moses-length from the Promised Land of my supposed healthy weight.

Also, for some reason that has nothing to do with logic or rationalism, being just five and a half pounds away from my next stone-marker makes the whole thing seem magically somehow more attainable than it was when there were a whole hefty six and a half pounds to go before I got there.

I know! Pure self-delusion of the rankest kind, but whaddaya want from me, last night I was singing allelujah to pulled pork, for God's sake...

Anyhow, it's self-delusion of a helpful kind, which harms no-one and makes me smile enigmatically... Buddhist self-delusion if you like. Which, surely, has got to be more healthy than the kind of self-delusion that seems to be dangerously swarming through the States at the moment, along the lines that the war on terror is over, now that Osama Bin Laden's been shot in the head.

Don't get me wrong on this - in terms of people who should be shot through the head, he's right up there with Simon Cowell, the Real Housewives of Orange County and the cast of Jersey Shore**. Woohoo, public enemy number one, out of the game, hoorah. But I'm with Bill Maher on this one - "Killing Bin Laden will have as much impact on Al-Qaeda as killing Colonel Sanders would have on Kentucky Fried Chicken. The franchise is pretty well established by now..."

Mmmm....fried chicken...

Ahem, anyway, before this blog spins hopelessly out of control and stops revolving around me, me, me and only me, let's drag it back. Today's result means that six pounds, or three on-schedule weeks from now, I'll be back in the realms of 18 stone. While this means nothing to you, with your busy lives, to me, it's a remarkable thing - because it takes me back about six or seven years. I was in the realms of 18 stone when I first met d, sure that yes, I was fat, but I'd never cross the rubicon into REALLY fat represented by the 20 stone marker. So as I head towards 40, I'm clawing my way back to the body I had at 33, which is really rather pleasing. If and when I make it down into the realms of 17 stone, I'll effectively be 27 again...and so on.
Hey, who knew? I'm not only inching backward in the space I take up, I'm inching backward in time too. Good deal!

Blood this morning was 7.2, though because I'm out of practice at this discipline lark, it was significantly after breakfast when I managed to take the reading.

* As I understand there are people out there who still, at this point in the 21st century, don't know what a Tardis is - it's a time machine that crucially is bigger on the inside than the outside, piloted by the lead character in iconic British sci-fi series Doctor Who.
** NB - in the event that there are readers who a) own guns, b) are mentally deficient, and c) are confusing me with Sarah Palin, the Disappearing Man blog does not advocate the shooting through the head of Simon Cowell, the Real Housewives of Orange County or the cast of Jersey Shore on any level higher than the ordinary, workaday fantasies of what a wonderful world it would be without their pollutant effect. Under no circumstances should these fantasies be turned into a reality, because, due to the ridiculous liberal pinko laws we have in the Western World, you will be perceived as the bad guy, and will almost certainly be shot yourself as a result. Or at least arrested. Probably. Just let it lie...