The See-Saw of Helpfulness

 

Hello, Sunday. Day of easy grazing and multiple tempting options.

Bastard, in fact. Seductive, teasing bastard day as you are, with your acres of time in which to not think of all the wonderful sweet and carby things with which I could be filling my face.

Has been a day of more grazing than I'd like - including some popcorn about whose sugar content I barely thought once. But I also did my highly limited harbour walk again this morning.. It's by no means enough to offset what I've eaten, but it's not meant to do that right now. It's about building more healthy habits, one step at a time.

On that, had some good news - I emailed my heart specialist, because while I thought the results of my echocardiogram meant I could do more exercise, d wasn't sure, thinking I'd need the results of other or follow-up tests before that was the case.

I simply asked him which reality we were in. His response was that yes, I can do more - but slowly, gently more, not jumping on the exercise bike and pedalling like a fat fuck outta hell.

Let me clear this up for you right now, because it seems to be a thing my nearest, dearest, and those who know me in real life ar eahving trouble with.

Is that something I might have done back in the day of the Original Disappearing?

Absolutely - I might have pushed it to kickstart my metabolism and tell it there was a new sheriff in town.

I'm 52 now, and I'm post-Covid. 

I know, I know, that was years ago, get over it. 

Except...no.

I don't want it to have done this, but that wretched little virus did a number on me, both physically and mentally. 

Physically, I simply can't push my body to obey my will any more. It rebels. It tells me, in no uncertain terms, to get knotted. It becomes harder to breathe, and if I push it too hard, it gives my heart licence to go tachycardic, which has been known to put me out of action for days on end - especially recently.

Mentally, I'm not the same man I was, either. I know where sentences need to go, but it's like my brain sometimes stops one station too soon, and has no connectivity to the end. Feels like a miniature cognitive stroke, frankly.

So - no. Between the mental and the physical, I'm not pushing this permission further than I can sensibly use it.

But still - it's a happy thing to have on one end of the see-saw of helpfulness today.

The see-saw of helpfulness of course, has another end, and d experienced that today.

She was told a story about the son of a local villager, who was rushed to hospital. 

Apparently, he had a diabetic toe ulcer, and he was given poor, and/or conflicting medical advice. 

He was ultimately taken to hospital and had to have his leg amputated.

There are two things to learn from this.

Firstly, these things are tricksy, and you have to watch them like a hawk. Poor lad went from ulcer to amputation in a horrifyingly small handful of heartbeats.

And secondly, stories like that are reeeeeally not what you want to hear when you have a diabetic toe ulcer and are heading in to see vascular podiatrists within 24 hours, marked "Extreme Urgent."

So that, on the see-saw of helpfulness today, is the side that's on the ground. Here's hoping there's good news tomorrow that lifts it up again.

I have work to do, incidentally, before I can jump on the exercise bike. It's been stuck in a box room for years, and there's a truly ridiculous amount of excavation that needs to be done before I can practically get on it, sit on it, and pedal it.

And I've also been looking into blood sugar testing options. I'm on blood thinners, and d has a long history with medical needles and the like, so if we can use an alternative to the daily stabbings, that'd be excellent.

Not sure whether it's feasible - the prices for the units I've seen work on a subscription model, and are pricy, and regular. There may well be alternatives via the NHS - investigation mode needs activating tomorrow.

Here's to Monday - day of hopefully good news from vascular podiatry, and the start of my last week in my current job. About which, more tomorrow!