Some days, every single thing about the day
seems designed to kick you in the crotch and spit on your ludicrous attempts to
self-determine. These are what we call Mondays.
To be fair, I should have known it was
going to be that sort of day. Firstly, I own a calendar, and the Mondays are
clearly marked, so I knew it was coming. But secondly, I’d actually put some
plans into my To Do List. Proper plans, plans that included timings. “Bike
every day this week”, for instance. “Blog every day this week” for a second,
rather more predictable instance. Biking every day rather depended on biking
today, and I’d subliminally intended the universe to understand in no uncertain
terms when I wrote that in my list that I meant “before work”.
Needless to say, when I woke up at 8.45,
that was shot to hell in an instant.
On the upside, day-job procedure, which
normally has me chained to a Skype-chat for some indeterminate hour on a Monday
morning, skipped a beat this morning, allowing me to take advantage of d’s
particular groin-kick today, which was that while she was initially scheduled
to be in work for just the afternoon shift, her rota’d been changed to do a
second 11 hour shift on the run. Two wrongs may not make a right, but two
groin-kicks, as it turns out, makes a day in Starbucks. Which was just as well,
because this week is going to be unremittingly, brain-poundingly long and full
and generally shite. As I write this, it’s 6.30 at night and I’m on a train
home from Cardiff like a moderately over-dedicated commuter, so at least I can
tick off “blogged today”. I’m still hoping to be able to start the week off as
I’d intended and bike when I get in. Daresay my best chance is immediately once
I get through the door, so I’ll sign off now. Have a look a couple of lines
down to see what happened next…
Ugh. Yep. Biked, though only for the space
of about 300 calories, in addition to about 400 calories of walking done today.
Overall, that feels more reasonable than I’d hoped for, and allows me to hope
for better things tomorrow and for the rest of the week. Don’t know what the
morning’s weigh-in will hold, to be honest. Not imagining anything
extravagantly good. Have actually caught myself in mirrors quite a bit
recently, and the odd photo, and am back to actively disliking what I see
there. Hence, I suppose, this idea of biking every day and blogging every day.
Have a sense of being lost and drowning, clinging on to any scrap of routine I
can enforce upon myself. So let’s see if I can at least tick off those two
things at the end of next week, and then see where we go from there.
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