5th September – Monday - Rubik Geography

I finished yesterday’s entry after what would turn out to be only the first half of the drama.

We had a Sunday roast at a local restaurant, and then frankly fell asleep for a bit. As the afternoon turned into evening, I decided to go for a long walk, to burn off some of the lunch calories. It was raining but I didn’t care that much. OK, so technically, I was in pyjama-bottoms, as my jeans were in the wash, but I didn’t care. I decided to head from Amroth towards Pendine (or ‘left’, as I thought of it). Left meant up a big hill, and then into the unknown. As it turned out, the unknown turned out to be ‘more uphill...followed by more...and more...and more...’

I got as far as Marros, then turned round, and came back. Have no idea how long that actually was, as I’m on holiday, and avoiding the only place I know with net access, because it’s a rank greasy cafe that you can smell across the road.

Anyhow, you all know, probably, that I sing when I walk. Now on the streets of London, this means I tend to make noises in a low register, but the roads of Amroth are deserted in a way that London roads will never be short of some appalling apocalypse. So there was I – pyjama-bottoms and hiking boots, belting out Alice Cooper songs, Aerosomith songs, and weirdly enough, Alannah Myles songs, going only ever upward, occasionally spinning round, clapping and doing wobbly fat-man dancing into the path of oncoming traffic. Just because...

The weirdest thing though was that, having gone nothing but up to get from Amroth to Marros, when I turned round, expecting to see the logical downs that should have accompanied them, pretty much all the way home...

No. Uphill. Followed by more uphill...and more freakin’ uphill!

This is simply not playing fair! I don’t know how that works, unless there really is some prankster deity up there, working the geography of this region like a giant green Rubik cube. In which case, mister, bloody well cut it out!

Blood was 5.3 this morning though, so maybe there’s something to be said for only ever going up...