The Temptation Drawer

OK, shoot me - I weighed this morning, after quite a spree of physical activity last night (mostly involving a bookcase (it is an ex-bookcase. It has ceased to be), and all the contents that used to live on it. And as predicted, I was one bowel movement or one spurt of off-my-ass-getting away from good news - weighed in unofficially this morning at 18st 13. From where, I have to tell you (again, and again, and over a-freakin'-gain), the view looks a lot more rosy and optimistic.

Now here's a thing.
I have a drawer in my office (although don't tempt me, I'm looking for tonight's physcial exertion challenge). And in that drawer, as of this moment, there's a small bag of mini-eggs and a three-pack of Walnut Whips.

I realise of course by telling you this, I'm a) inciting you to come round whenever you need a chocolate hit, and b) inviting d to take them right the hell away from me in obedience to one of my more tyrannical moods.

But here's the thing. I bought them in Marks and Spencers at Cardiff train station on two separate "Fuck it, I need chocolate, NOW!" moments. And the likelihood is that at some point, I will still eat them.

But I haven't yet. I know they're there. Just behind me. And there's not, ultimately, a damn thing anyone can do to me if I decide to snarf the lot.

But I haven't, yet. I've wanted to. I wanted to, in fact, tonight, despite having been fed some gorgeous protein. But no. They're still there.

I don't know really what the point of this is - as I say, they started as a lack of willpower and a giving in to impulses. They've turned into something like the opposite of that though. As I say, I probably will eat them, one day probably soon. But it seems to be a thing in my brain at the moment that if I eat them, I lose the game I'm playing with them. They are the contents of my temptation drawer, and the game is very simple - them or me, who wins the battle of wits. I'm fully aware that one day it will probably be them. But that day is not today, buoyed up as I am by this morning's impromptu weighing and its good news. We'll see how I fare on a day of less pleasant news.