The Disappearing Numbers

So – another week, another weigh-in. Having missed last week’s of course, there’s a certain novelty to the whole thing for me.

Anyhow – as I was 18st 10lbs (262lbs) two Tuesdays ago, I should technically have lost four pounds by today’s weigh-in.

Alright, so shoot me – 3.75lbs lost. Today’s weigh-in has me at 18st 6.25lbs (258.25lbs). Given the fact of having been on holiday for a week, I’m happy enough with this. Certainly, it’s broken the entirely arbitrary UK barrier of the ‘half-stone’ (every 7lbs, American groovers, is a half-stone – as I say, probably dates back to overweight Druids or somesuch). Total loss since restarting the Disappearing, 10.75lbs. As I’m writing this on a train, I can’t actually remember how many weeks ago the restart was, which means I’m not sure if I’m still on technical target or not. If it was five weeks or fewer ago, then I’m doing at least alright. More than that, notsomuch.

Anyhow, those are the moderately yawn-making scores as we speak.

Last night, it was pushing 9.30 at night when I finally got on the exercise bike.

‘Where’s your iPod?’ asked d, bemused, as the little bundle of sound tends to go everywhere with me.

‘I’m doing a different thing,’ I told her, waving my phone.

‘Should I guess?’

‘Sudoku,’ I explained.

She blinked, let the word sink in a moment. ‘You’ve gotta be kidding me?’

I grinned. I love it when people say that kind of thing, it sort of makes me feel like I’m doing this ‘being alive’ thing right.

‘Nope,’ I said. ‘It’s like slipping your mind into neutral. Your brain does its thing, and stops focusing on your legs as they do their thing, and you stop looking at the miles travelled and the calories burned and before you know it, the bike is beeping at you and because you haven’t focused on it, it doesn’t feel as long or as arduous but you have a bank of calories burned. Plus, y’know – healthy body, healthy mind, all that cobblers.’

‘Yyyyeah, OK,’ she said, smiling at me as if to say ‘You’re a strange, strange little man – but hey, you’re mine.’

‘It’s Disappearing Numbers, isn’t it?’ I said. ‘All meaningless, but you find them, and discount them, and move on.’

‘Yes dear,’ said d. ‘Pedal.’

I pedaled. And the numbers Disappeared.