The Downside

"Brrrr!" I whinged.
"Yes dear," said d and Sian together.
We'd been shifting life-drippings all day yesterday, and now we were shuffling into the Magor service station for a snatched fast food dinner. And I felt like I was turning blue.
"BRRRRRRR!!" I whinged, louder, to get the point across.
"YES DEAR!" said d, who knows how to deal with me when I get six-year-old and whingy.
"This is bullshit!" I said, through chattering teeth.
"Yep," said d, thinly. She blinked. Sighed.
"What is?" she was almost forced to ask.
"This goddamnsonofabitch cold!"
"Did nobody mention the idea behind December to you, Marty?" asked Sian, scanning the burger-joint menu. (I should say - she calls me Marty, as a result of an ancient, exhausted joke that has its origins in a Martini commercial. Let it go. We probably should have, but haven't. Moving on...)
"Y-y-yyeah," I noted. "I'm familiar with the concept. But why's it so cooooold?!"
"It's December!" they chorused.
"But it was never this cold!" I whined.
d sighed again.
"You were never this thin dear," she reminded me. "Well, not in living memory, anyway..."
"T'riffic," I said, shooting her A Look. "So glad I bothered with all this Disappearing shit."
"Hey, suck it up dear," said d. "I'm turning [figure removed so the author has a hope of ever getting laid again] next month."
I blinked at what seemed like a non-sequitur.
"And?" I asked.
"And I look it!" she almost-growled.
"You don't!" I said, not for the first time.
"I always looked younger than I am," she explained. "People used to ask me how I did it, and I used to tell them - it's the fat. It fills in all the wrinkles and makes me look all smooth and healthy. I lost two stone, and now everything's sagging!"
It isn't, incidentally, but I figure with what she puts up with, she's allowed to whinge about whatever the hell she wants.
But oddly enough, this was the second time in two days that I'd heard about the Downside. The day before, I'd met up with Rhiannon, Sian's sister. She's never really needed to Disappear, but she's done some almost accidentally recently.
"Hey, lookin' good Rhi'," I mentioned to her. She mumbled and muttered darkly.
"Nothing fits!" she said.
"Well, no, but that's all part of the Adventure, isn't it?"
"Huh," she muttered. "I just bought a car, I can't afford to have Adventures..."

Back in Magor, I blinked at d's Downside. Something occurred to me.
"Freakin' BRRRRRR!!!" I said.
"D'you ever want to put the conversations you have with him on repeat until he get it?" asked Sian idly. d raised an eyebrow but didn't openly agree.
"So, what are you saying to me?" I clarified. "The end result of all this whining and bitching and pedalling and so on is having to wear more clothes or freezing my ass off every Winter?"
"I think he's got it!" said Sian.
"This is Bullshit!" I said again.
d sighed.
"Yes dear. What do you want to eat?"
"I'll have a double sausage burger, with bacon, dammit," I muttered, kicking imaginary stones."
I thought about it some more.
"And a hot-water-bottle suit..."