Yesterday, I began Disappearing again with the now-traditional 5AM wake-up, panicked blog, assessing everything I'd done wrong, laying down the rules and so on. I mentioned that weigh-ins were on Tuesday (an odd practice I got into because my occasional ubercommutes to and from London in a day tend to either be on Mondays or Wednesdays, but rarely if ever Tuesdays. If you're going to ask me why that's relevant, I'm firstly going to go ahead and assume you've never felt the need for a tremendous, King Kong-style evacuation first thing in the morning, and then I'm going to call bullshit.). I said I was expecting to be over 19st 7, and I wasn't just skipping along like Mary Sue and plucking a number out of the air when I said that. Before a recent three-day trip to London with d, I was 19st 3. That's the number my Fitbit has stored in it as my starting weight because I got it at Christmas and I figured I'd be that heavy by the end of the whole festive yin-yang. (Oh fuck yeah, I have a Fitbit; I'll try any piece of yuppie shit out there, I have no pride). But on a faintly desperate unofficial weigh-in when I got home from London, I was over 19st 5. Weirdly, that wasn't enough to make me stop and consider my lifestyle. Two days ago, I ate two pizzas and a bunch of leftover Christmas chocolate. So 19st 7 was a realistic estimate.
But yesterday, I started this Disappearing business again. I seem to be breaking myself into it relatively gently, which rather flies in the face of the whole 'absolutist' schtick of yesterday's blog, but as days go, it was much better. Over the space of 18 hours, I ate one bowl of butternut squash soup and a hunk of bread, drank two venti decaff skinny Americano mistos with sugar-free caramel (I'd still quite like an explanation of sugar-free caramel, incidentally - how is that a thing? What do you burn to make sugar-free caramel? Hopes and dreams?), one bottle of John Lewis smoothie. Then for dinner, I had steak, vegetables and ridiculous but tasty M&S meat-filled parcel things that probably have a proper name somewhere in this universe, followed by some fruit and yoghurt. I'm in two minds about the fruit and yoghurt thing, it smacks of dessert to me, but for now at least, while the massive likelihood is that I can still lose weight while having it, I'm bowing to the wisdom of my wife and the fact that it's freakin' tasty.
I also got back on the exercise bike for the first time in weeks, and for the first time in about a year, I pedalled that thing for a solid hour. Not madly, not intending to break a land speed record or my constitution, just solidly, without giving up, for an hour. Like I used to when I started this process originally, some five years ago. So - that made me feel all serious about the thing, and gave me thighs that refused to move again, ever.
Today's been a work from home day. I know, technically, every day's a work from home day in my case, but what I mean is, it's been a day when d's working a 12-hour shift when I didn't jump on a train and go to Starbucks. Nope - my ass has been housebound for most of the day. Doing...y'know, worky stuff.
Intake so far - one small bowl Fruit & Fibre cereal, semi-skimmed milk. Two Lavazza coffees, water, one tin of tomato and chilli soup, two dinner rolls. Bought myself some fruit for healthy snacking, and the only thing keeping my ass and my protesting thighs from the exercise bike for another hour of pedalling fun and joy is that I haven't finished this blog yet. Soon as I do, that's me, donning the shorts of power and boring my own ass off for a whole hour, dammit. Burned somewhere in the region of 450 calories last night, which is always the problem with biking - depressingly small return for the energy invested - but, oh yeah, this was the point of the blog:
Today's weigh-in: 19st 3.
Never actually thought I'd be pleased to see that figure, but after London, and pizza and chocolate and what-have-you, was happy enough to bite its hand off when the Nazi Scales flashed that at me this morning. So, clearly, it was 450 calories of seriousness and giddy-up. Which is why I'm going right the hell back to it, right now. We've begun with a figure that's both massively high, and simultaneously lower than expected. But more importantly, we've begun. Again.
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