The Harry Attitude

I deleted the first four paragraphs of toight's blog entry, simply because I annoyed myself so much. I was complaining about this and fretting about that, and whinging like a whingy thing about something else entirely, and on, and on, and on it went.

Then I thought of my mate Harry. And the whinging went away, because it couldn't lift its head for shame by comparison.

It's a big day for Harry today. Today, he starts a course of treatment that will take him from how he looks and how he's perceived today to how he feels inside and wants to be perceived in the future. He's already been through a lot, because generally, our society likes to poke people with sticks when they're not what we think they 'should' be, and yell 'Waargh! Different is wrong, go and live under a stone and stop confusing us!' 

We really need to grow the hell up, as a society.

Harry's quest to match biology with psychology is a long, hard slog, partly because it's a complex process and partly because we're nowhere near as evolved a society as we think we are, so institutions and expectations make it harder than it should be. He's got a hell of a journey ahead of him, that needs him to be stronger that I'll ever have to even contemplate being.

Yet today's a really exciting day for this 28 year-old mate of mine, because it's the beginning of a new phase, a new push towards the version of himself that has to be. That just, absolutely, has to be. That's the difference, of course - it has to be.

I'd never be as crass as to compare our journeys, but I look at Harry, smiling and excited and on his way, and I look at myself whinging about this and fretting about that, and I just think 'Shurrup Tone, stop being an arse.' There's a lesson in his attitude, in his excitement and his smile, because whatever he's about to go through on his journey, his destination is set - it has to be. Everything in between is the getting there. That kind of vision's enough to make any whinge die on your lips, I promise you.

I'm not about to make saints or angels out of any bugger - I'm sure Harry can be a cantankerous sod if he wants to be, though I've never seen it. But neither am I above looking at my friends, and seeing the journeys they're on, and shutting the hell up from my point of ridiculous privilege, and raising a glass in salute of their strength of character, and the attitude that carries them on. And today, I look at Harry and think 'That's a dead cool attitude, man. Thanks for showing me that.'

We don't of course see more than a snapshot of each other's lives as we go through our days - this person, that person, their strength, their excitement, their optimism, their fear. Only those closest to us get to see the whole of us - that's the point of that closeness. But I know enough, I think, about my mate to say that a healthy heaping tablespoon of Harry's attitude in all of our minds and make-ups would do all of us a load of good, and me more than most. 

So enough neurotic whinging. Here's to Harry, and to all those people you know who are on journeys of their own, but who always make the day a bit brighter by also being a part of yours.