The Triple Weigh-In Neurosis

How many times would you say one could weigh-in on any given day without it being classed as a mental disorder?

I ask because for reasons that appeared to me at the time to make perfectly reasonable sense, I weighed-in three times this morning.

The mathematics of distinct oddness go like this.

Last week when I weighed in, you might recall I said if I could, I’d maintain the same conditions, weigh-in to weigh-in. Weighed-in twice last week – once post-bathroom, but pre-walk, and then once post-walk.

This morning I got up and attempted to stick to my word. The bathroom though was not my friend – buggerall doing, frankly. So I weighed-in pre-bathroom, pre-walk. That figure, ladies and gentlemen: 18st 6.75.

So – all very good and groovy, my 2lb achieved, with a moderately insulting chaser of a quarter-pound – while still, technically, being as full of crap as you’ve come to expect of your Disappearing Correspondent.

Went and did the walk, in the hope of making friends with the bathroom on my return. Usually, I lose a pound and a half in simple sweat doing the walk – and I wanted to weigh-in post-walk and pre-bathroom, to be able to discount that water loss from whatever the true figure was. This morning, just a pound of water evaporated out of me over the course of six miles. Second weigh-in was 18st 5.75.

Tried again to make friends with my own porcelain. Shall we say that this morning I continued to be a man of no substance, but a half-pound pee took me down to 18st 5.25.

As it happens, buggerall of any effect has left me at all today, only the numerous coffees I’ve drunk.

So what am I claiming as my actual weigh-in figure? 18st 6.75? 18st 6.25?

Has to be the first figure of the day – 18st 6.75. Happy enough with 2.2lbs lost, it rather brings me down to earth after the big loss of the first week – this is more what progress will look like going forward.  Next week, the aim will be 18st 4.75.

Of course…that’s not technically going to stop me weighing-in unofficially tomorrow morning post…bleeding…bathroom…

Cos, y’know, you can never weigh-in quite enough….right?

Addendum: OK, fine, so I came home from Starbucks and tried to make friends with my bathroom again. Tiniest bit of success. And yes, I weighed-in again. And no, I'm not gonna tell you what that said, cos, y'know...there's taking neurosis too far...