The Dangerous Zip

This is probably not going to be as funny as the title suggests. If you're looking for stories  where, getting changed between last night's concert and coming home, I had a hilarious wardrobe malfunction and severed my own testicles - time to go rent There's Something About Mary, cos this isn't that sort of zip.

It's the zip that you get if you add up everything I've done of Disappearing value today. Firstly, didn't get in till about 2.30 this morning, after having something of a sense of humour failure of the bus back from Birmingham and throwing...if not all, then maybe one or two of my less treasured toys out of the pram. I ended up losing the will to sit, and getting off the bus at the far end of the Brecon Road, in boots that most assuredly were not made for walking, carrying a brief case and a suit back through the deserted streets of Merthyr.

So when I woke up this morning, it was a) later than normal and b) to a tingling, pre-blistery kind of "what-the-fuck-was-that?" vibe from both my feet. So, rather than push it, I...what's the thing you do when you don't push it? Pull it, I suppose...although it would be inaccurate to suggest I did that either (which incidentally takes me on to the latest interesting instruction from our musical director in choir - when describing a part of a new song we started learning tonight, this five foot spit woman who rules the gang of generally disreputable old buggers of whom I am honoured to call myself one, murmured "Ohh, see, those harmonies are just orgasmic, boys." We treated her to our best pantomime "Ooooh!", only to have her repond with "No, seriously, when you all ome together, it's..." - We never found out what it was, we were collapsing in howls of laughter. Then the connotations of what she's actually said hit her, and - and this is how she's able to handle us - she collapsed in laughter too.)

What I mean is, I had a day pretty much off. Could I have biked? Sure, I could have.

Didn't, but could have.

Which means this "zip" in terms of Disappearing exercise today is "dangerous" in terms of Tuesday's weigh-in. I mean, nobody's gonna die or anything because of it, but it may well put my intention and hope to see a 15 on the Nazi Scales into some kind of jeopardy.

I'm treating this with philosophical disregard (or giving the big lifestyle finger, depending on your point of view), because I figure it's all about balancing life and Disappearing. If it costs me this week, I'll achieve my objective next week. So I suppose "The Zip Of Mild Disappointment-Peril" would be the more accurate title for today.

It's when I start coming out with nonsense like tht that it's time to go away and prepare for an UberCommute tomorrow. That's right, tomorrow's a day in London, baby!

So it's goodnight from The Snoring-Like-A-Cat-In-A-Blender Man...