Timesliding

Eight years ago right now, I was in all likelihood sliding my hands up d's thigh, to find the promised land of a garter, and slide it mischievously down her leg. Sadly, I then had to throw it to someone else...

It's an American wedding tradition. Eight years ago tonight, I was a newly married man. I honestly don't remember what sort of weight I was, but it was probably about 18 stone some-odd. Today, d and I have been to Cardiff, to have a celebration meal. It was a very pleasant day, all in all - with one slight wobble. We were on a bus from Merthyr to Cardiff, and passed The Heath hospital on the way.

The Heath was where Dad was supposed to be right now - doing his clinical trial, and getting at least a bit better. It felt, going past the place, like we should turn off, like the bus should know somehow that it was in the wrong dimension, and turn off back to the destiny that should have been.

Sigh. This "new normal" thing is a bit of a bitch to get used to.

Apart from that, it was a great day - we shared time, and closeness, and memories, and food. Of the memories, not the least by any means were those of Dad at our wedding, and at my brother Geraint's too. Dad squinting through video cameras, dandling kids on his knee, making speeches, laughing and slapping his thigh at both events...

Got home tonight and had gotten an email from Geraint, including a picture forwarded from our aunt. It was a picture of Ger and I with Ma and Dad, from when Ger and I were teenagers. It was after my first Disappearing campaign, so I was about as slim and cool as I've ever been.

"God you look like a miserable git," said d.
"I'd been hungry for about a year at that point, and I was having semi-sexual fantasies about Snickers bars," I murmured, looking at my young, thin-ish face with it's wall of moussed hair rising about six inches above my head.
"Your dad looks really handsome though," she added. "I've only known the older man, but..."
"Oh yeah," I agreed. "In his younger years, he always reminded me of Timothy Dalton" - Not for nothing, but he's our joint favourite Bond.

It's been a day of timesliding, from now to eight years ago, to teenager time. One thing that I should probably add in Disappearing terms is that I had a full meal today, including a dessert. Did it in a spirit of celebration, and am not gonna bitch about it. It's been, all in all, a good thing, this timesliding, and in the spirit of today being our anniversary. But I'm going to pull it back tomorrow, and move right along. In all fairness, this first week of the re-perspexing has been a lot of talk and little action - I've meant to do do some exercise every day, and haven't. The week coming up will be better - the blisters from the walk will have healed, the office will be clearer, and the gym will be available to me, which weird deadline moments and work issues have meant it hasn't been so much this week.

I'm still hoping to have shifted my numbers back into the 16s by Tuesday, but if it doesn't happen, I can't afford to let that mean much. I have to slide my timeline on into a future where things work for me, where I put the work in when I say I'm going to, and get things working again...