This thing is all about reducing portions, reducing calories, finding different, better things to eat. But I saw an advert last night that goes beyond the pale of dieting into serious "What The Fuck?" territory.
It showed a nice enough looking plate of spaghetti bolognaise.
"If you're dieting," it said, "you'll find this spaghetti bolognaise isn't quite as low-fat as you'd hoped..."
Flip shot to another plate of something pretending to be bolognaise.
"But this spaghetti bolognaise...is," the voice-over purred, comparatively silky and seductive now, with pouty undertones.
"Quorn," it said, as if that explained or indeed excused everything.
Now as I say, I'm all for reduced fat options, but I think you have to ask yourself one question - how far away from something good can you go before what you're left with is actually not worth the chewing?
I'm not a carnivorous Neanderthal as such, but excuse freaking me, it might be fat-free as all get-out, but I don't think you get to call it spaghetti bolognaise if you make it with Quorn. You get to call it fungus-protein pasta. Sorry, that's the law in my world.
Why? Because food is about flavour. You choose what you put into it because it rewards you. Sure, lowering the fat and sugar contents are hugely important in this whole dieting schtick, but there's a point when, y'know what? - if you're that scared of a dish, have something else, don't bastardise the dish you really want to the point where its mother wouldn't recognise it!
And I should say, there's a caveat - if you're diabetic and you wanna use sugar-substitute, fine. If you're lactose-intolerant and have to use stuff that looks like milk but absolutely isn't, fine. If you're just a vegetarian that loves the taste of sausages but doesn't want to kill the little piggies - grow a pair and embrace one side of your nature or the other - Quorn sausages are fungus-tubes, they're not and never will be sausages. So either embrace your compassionate nature or your taste buds, but make up your minds and stop pissing about!
As usual, the last word on this goes to d. Watching the advert with me, and observing my apoplectic rant, she just raised an eyebrow, pursed her lips, then said
"Hmm. I don't get it. I mean, I like vegetables, but I don't sculpt a steak to look like a Brussell Sprout, do I?"
She's not wrong, you know.
That's the second time today you've made me laugh out loud. Of course you'll hate me when I tell you that I like Quorn and have some of it in my freezer ....
ReplyDeleteAnd this from a registered, card carrying carnivore. I know, I'm a mass of contradictions. Pisces ya know.